Harsh Feedback Is Your Compensation; Not Money.

“It looks to me that you’ve never attended a school before. I don’t think this is a good fit.”

The colleague who received this feedback joined an international business consulting firm with 5 years of experience, an MBA, multiple national awards, and a portfolio of projects involving the World Bank and the UN.

In his first week at the company, he discovered he was the most qualified member of a small team of 7. So, naturally, he imagined himself calling the shots, leading projects, etc.

Surprisingly, his salary was cut by 75% after three weeks, and he was demoted to the internship level.

If you’ve read Ryan Holliday’s Ego Is The Enemy, you know there are two kinds of people in this situation:

• Those who would perceive that comment as an insult to their personality and rage quit or

• Those who see it as an opportunity to learn new truths about themselves.

He chose the second option, Accepted the internship with little pay. He swallowed his personality and got down to work.

Today, he’s leading a project to help his company expand into a new market in Europe, three months after that horror week.

If you will stop reading and go back to scrolling through Twitter, I want you to take this one lesson with you:

“If you’re a entry-level or mid-level marketer (0 - 5 years of experience), harsh feedback is your compensation– or any feedback at all. And if you find yourself in a startup where everyone still knocks things over trying to get the job done, just forget about money.”

Why is harsh feedback the best compensation?

Because no amount of money can compensate you for the roller coaster of emotions that comes with delivering client results, why do you think writers turn off their internet, go for a walk, or totally lock themselves out of reality when they share their work with a client? No matter their level of expertise, we all cringe when our work is under a microscope.

If experts like Eric Doty know that you must "Treat your role like it's a really difficult puzzle to solve, and you don't have the picture on the box" and expect to be told you're wrong, what about you and I-and people like us- who slap "Expert Content Strategist" on our Upwork profile after completing Hubspot's 7 hours course.

There is far more to learn.

These are the things feedback will teach you (that money can't)

1. Being open to feedback exposes you to opportunities for improvement. I spoke about the fear of being diagnosed with this issue and how it's killing many creative geniuses. It's applicable in this context. Feedback from others can analyze areas for improvement, as it often comes from individuals who possess more knowledge and experience. For instance, a client informed me that my virtual meeting conversation skills were really really poor, which allowed me to work on improving them. My colleagues, most likely, won't tell me that.

2. Harsh feedback tests your resilience: If you don't manage your emotions, you may find yourself quitting impulsively, spending months searching for a new job, taking positions you don't enjoy, and living paycheck to paycheck, only to receive similar feedback at your new workplace. Would you repeat the cycle of quitting in frustration once again?

3. While writing samples and portfolios can showcase your skills and accomplishments, they may not provide insight into your capacity to handle harsh feedback and implement change efficiently. Through experience and practice, you develop the ability to take criticism constructively and turn it into positive outcomes. Therefore, it's crucial to view feedback not as a personal attack, but as an opportunity to grow and improve.

Now that you know feedback is good for you, let’s think about how to receive harsh feedback and deal with it.

1. Rephrase– Don’t assume

Some people are just naturally blunt with their words. They don’t sugarcoat. They say it the way it is. Don’t assume they want to insult you. Rephrase the message.

I spent all night designing a content strategy doc for a client, and he replied.

“If this came from someone I didn’t know, I’ll assume it’s a spam message and throw it in the trash.”

Ooooshhh.That’s a huge burn.

In that moment, don’t be impulsive and blow steam. Rephrase the feedback to highlight what you think they mean and nudge them to repeat it more clearly. For example, here is how I should have responded to that message:

“Hey, Client. Thanks for your comment. Are you suggesting that the strategy doc does not represent your expectation enough. Could you please highlight two things you’d love to see that isn't there? Thank you.”

2. Talk to another senior colleague.

Sometimes your direct contact in the company can appear to be someone who hates your existence because nothing you do ever looks good to them when you’re feeling pressured and confused and on the brink of lashing out at them for being an A88H8LE! Talk to someone in the company, preferably a senior colleague.

“Hey Daniel, I wanted to talk to you about Eric. How do you work with him? Are there some things you do to ensure a smooth and clear communication with them? Thank you.”

3. Sleep on it

Like, literally turn off your phone and sleep. Google Doc comments often come in at night because I work with clients in the US and Australia. At that time, I was already worked out and exhausted. If you don’t have to respond immediately, go to bed and relax. Use option 1 to break the ice and avoid an impulsive reply if you have to.

4. Give them an option if you feel like you’re being forced out.

If you feel they can’t cope with you but don’t know how to say it, open the door.

Send a gentle email appreciating their effort and what you’re doing to meet expectations. Imply that if they feel there is no way the relationship might work, you’d understand if they let you go.

Half the time, they won’t take it and would, instead, appreciate your honesty. I’ve seen this happen personally.

5. Keep an orange and black book

Record every feedback in a Google doc. Make a table if you like.

Write negative feedback in a black text and Orange text for the opposite. Look back at it every day and think about how that black text got there and what you need to do (or did) to make it orange. The trick is that as time passes, you’d have more orange text than black. Then you know you’ve won.

You Don’t Have To Stay In A Toxic Workplace– But If You Find A Workplace Where Everyone Shows You How To Improve– Stick To It.